This Is Not A Knitting Blog

This is not a knitting blog. I am not much of a knitter.

I can, however, make a hat - and I made two as Christmas presents and just finished one for my husband, using random yarn I had in the cellar. The Christmas present hats were very scrappy - mostly navy blue worsted, with dribs and drabs of other yarn striped in (hello needlepoint wool from 1972). The hat I just finished is more refined - only two yarns, in alternating stripes of navy worsted and black cotton.

Every time I decide to make a hat, though, I agonize about the pattern - and especially about how to do the decreasing to shape the top. I have finally settled on a pattern that works, so - even though I am not much of a knitter and this is not a knitting blog - here goes:

Worsted Weight Adult Sized Rolled Brim Hat - Knit in the Round

You'll need to know how to cast on, how to knit, and how to knit two stitches together (to decrease). You don't need to know how to purl or increase. As far as the porcupine business with the double pointed needles, do it when no one will interrupt you, in a good spot with great light, and have patience.

Materials
120 yards of worsted weight yarn (or, you know, a good sized ball or two)
Circular needle - size 9 US, 16" long
Set of double pointed needles - size 9 US
Gauge? We don't need no stinkin' gauge - just go ahead and make the hat.

Instructions
Cast 80 stitches onto the circular needle. Place a marker and join, being careful not to spiral the whole thing around the circular needle. Knit for about 6”, ending at the marker.

Begin decreasing on the next round, as follows:

1. (Knit 6, k2tog) repeat to end. You'll now have 70 stitches left.
2. Knit.
3. (Knit 5, k2tog) repeat to end. 60 stitches remain.
4. Knit.
5. (Knit 4, k2tog) repeat to end. 50 stitches remain.
6. Knit.
7. (Knit 3, k2tog) repeat to end. 40 stitches remain.
8. Knit.

Switch to double pointed needles.

9. (Knit 2, k2tog) repeat to end. 30 stitches remain.
10. Knit.
11. (Knit 1, k2tog) repeat to end. 20 stitches remain.
12. Knit.
13. (k2tog) repeat to end.

Cut the yarn leaving a 12" tail. Thread it through the remaining 10 stitches, draw up tightly and secure. Weave in ends.

If your intended recipient has a bigger head than usual, make the hat bigger by 1) casting on 90 stitches, and 2) beginning the decrease with a row of knit 7, k2tog followed by a row of straight knitting - and then continue as above.

Decay

The first sweater I ever made was a disaster. I followed a pattern that I'd found in Elle Magazine (a hundred years ago; do they even still do knitting patterns?), and I followed it precisely and accurately. It was kind of a modern fisherman's sweater - knit in a lanolin rich unbleached white wool, but without cables and pompons. Instead it was mostly seed stitch, in a big V, with plain knit below, and rolled edges at the neck and hem.

The problem was the seed stitch - it had way too much give in it. The give, coupled with the weight of the wool, meant that the sweater looked like an enormous potato sack on, and so I never actually wore it. I thought about it a lot; after all, I'd put a lot of time into it, not to mention yarn. I thought about intentionally shrinking it, I thought about reinforcing the shoulder seams with twill tape to combat the sag.

Eventually, the sweater ended up at my mother's house - where everything in need of alteration would go. Every once in a while, I idly wondered to myself about its whereabouts - thinking perhaps I'd rip it out and make something else - and then I'd promptly forgot about it again.

On Saturday, I found the sweater.



I have never been so horrified in my life. Dirty stinking rotten moths.

I've seen moth damage before, but usually a pin hole here or a nibble there. These moths ate great swaths of knitting - holes from the front ALL THE WAY THROUGH to the back.

This, people, is not the kind of decay that is inadvertently lovely or whimsically elegiac. This makes me heartsick.

Damned moths.

Little Hats and Just Posts

Those splendid Just Post bloggers put out the penultimate edition of the Just Posts last week - go check out Mad and Jen and Su, and click through to some great posts about making the world a better place.

My post about turning old tee-shirts into hats for Haitian babies was included, which inspires me to show off another found material baby hat that I made.

This tiny knit hat is made of scrap yarn that I found in a drawer at my mother's house, little balls of yarn leftover from other projects, none of which were enough for a full project. So I picked out complementary colors and just kept changing yarn.

Yesterday, I mailed that hat off to Save The Children, for their Knit One, Save One project - the caps will be collected and sent off to babies in need of warmth.

I'm a kind of terrible knitter - I have two lots of yarn at home in a box because I'm just terrified about making the sweaters that I got them for - but little tiny hats, either for newborns I know, or for needy babies I don't? That I can do.

Knitting for Bears

I had the idea that it would be sweet to knit a sweater for one of Miss M.'s many teddy bears. I found a pattern at Wee Wonderfuls, and printed out a picture to show to her. Her response? "They're not chilly because they have coats."

Okay kid, no sweaters for your bears.

Hermione and the Big Funnel

I feel a little like Hermione, knitting hats for the house elves. I finished another two little hats - I'm getting better at the circular needles, and at doing regular decreases. Both of these, in true magpie form, incorporate bits of yarn that were wrapped around Christmas presents last year: the hairy yarn in the red hat, and the green stem on the other.

In the aftermath of the release of the final Harry Potter book, there was a piece in the Times about the many Chinese frauds and imitations and spin-offs. I think my absolute favorite was "Harry Potter and the Big Funnel". Nothing so exotic as sorcerer's stones or deathly hallows. Nope, a big funnel. Those crazy Chinese!

PS: That Times link probably won't work, unless you've got Times Select, which the New York Post says is soon to be a thing of the past. Nice that the Post broke that story, not the Times, huh?

I Hate Double Pointed Needles

But I finished another hat. It's a good thing that the yarn is SO fuzzy; I think the top is riddled with errors. The knitting kept falling off the DPNs as I was trying to decrease. I think I picked it all up, but who knows. Fuzz hides all sins. Fuzz also makes ripping out nearly impossible, so I just plowed ahead, sins be damned.

I've got another hat nearly done, but it's time to switch to the DPNs, and so I am procrastinating.

Annals of Knitting

What possessed me to try and make a hat out of "fur" yarn? Argh. I cast on and started knitting, decided that the cast on was too tight and spent about 20 minutes unraveling it. The fur ties itself in knots. Argh. Once I got going, it was okay - but if there are any errors, I'm not fixing them!

Knitting Projects #3 and 4

I made two more hats! The one on the left used a mess of little scraps of yarn, and was knit flat and sewn up. I'm sending it to the local NICU. The one on the right was my first attempt at using a circular needle (and switching to double-points for the decrease at the top). I think it's charming and I'm going to give it to a friend who's about to have a baby.



I bought more yarn today.

Knitting Project #2

Following the completion of the hat, I figured that I'd better use up the lovely screaming Orlon yarn, so I embarked on an afghan "square" (it's really a 7" x 9" rectangle) for Warm Up America. By making those wacky polka-dots, I got to practice changing and carrying yarn colors. And I cast on, and off, all by myself. It too is going in the mail tomorrow. I think I need a real project now, with real yarn, and a real goal.

Knitting Project #1

I got a hankering to knit something recently. A long time ago, I'd made a sweater, which came out completely strangely. Misshapen and unwearable. So I'd put it aside and didn't think of knitting until a couple of months ago. After kicking it around in my head, I poked around on the web and got inspired to participate in Save The Children's Caps to the Capital. I dug up some old yarn at my mother's house, found my old knitting needles, asked someone in my building to teach me how to cast on again (I remembered knit and purl, but not casting on or off), and made this here hat for a little baby. It borders on hideous, and is far from perfect, but I'm enormously pleased with myself. It's going in the mail tomorrow.