03 January 2008

Reading the Paper

They keep saying that the printed newspaper is going to go the way of all things. If that really happens, I will be in a saddened condition, because reading the physical paper is a far different experience than reading the news on a computer screen. I know that I would never have seen this gem of an AP story had I not been holding the good grey lady in my hands on the train this morning:

When the meal a man was cooking at his aunt’s house in Hartlepool caught fire this week, he grabbed the nearest thing from a pile of laundry to put it out: his aunt’s billowing, powder blue, size XL underpants. He ran them under the faucet and tossed them onto the flames, smothering the fire and saving the kitchen, according to a spokesman for the local fire brigade. The fire official said that using a large, wet cloth to cover a grease fire was a sound principle and that with underwear, “clearly it depends on what size you are.”

On the other hand, I probably would have read Marie-Jeanne's obituary with or without newsprint in hand, just because she was a Balanchine dancer and I pay attention to that sort of thing. In case you missed it, she had rather a marvelous entry into this world:

Marie-Jeanne Pelus — she dropped her surname professionally because she thought balletgoers might find it awkward — was born in Manhattan on her family’s kitchen table after her mother, a French milliner, went into labor while her father, an Italian chef, was preparing dinner.

I wonder, though, what happened to the placenta?

20 comments:

flutter said...

aaarrrghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her Grace said...

Hilarious!

Newspapers, like books, should never go digital.

Mayberry said...

I hope the milliner didn't make it into a hat.

slouching mom said...

i'm tickled by both of those stories. thanks.

MadMad said...

I once saw a goat eating one (her newborn's) and have never been quite the same since. I suppose it could be worse though, than a goat, and if her dad was cooking, perhaps it was.

Irish Goddess said...

Oh my god, Magpie, the way your mind works!

Life As I Know It said...

See, now I would never have even thought about the placenta...EWWWWW!

MotherPie said...

Well, missing the underwear story... Hmmmm. But I must say in studying media, it is so easy to tag and clip things online say, as compared to clipping out articles. I think that as the web moves to "clouds" data will move, too.

The only papers to show an uptick have been the Washington Post and the Dow Jones, but they have diversified holdings.

I think the writing is just on the wall but I don't think serious magazines will go digital. Like books, they will hold meaning over time on paper.

Oh, The Joys said...

And did he finish the dinner?

(I can NOT read the news on the computer.)

Gina said...

One more reason for me to head back to Weight Watchers: fear of my giant underpants being used as a firefighting tool.

BTW: my last place sucked and I got NO response on the pay it forward, so I'm paying it back. I got all the fixins and when I get around to actually fixin something, I'll be sending something your way. I'll get your info then.

anastasia beaverhausen said...

I'll read the highlights, but I can't read the entire paper online. I just can't. I need a hard copy!

thirtysomething said...

Heh. Amusing stories. I enjoy reading a special section in our paper that is devoted to news of the wierd or extraordinary,and it just wouldn't be the same if I had to read it online.

Stacie said...

EWWW!!! LOL

KC said...

Well, that's one good thing about having a huge butt. I can put out my own kitchen fires.

pinknest said...

i love holding a newspaper. period. do you see those kindle book devices? absurd.

Janet said...

I read that fire story in the good old fashioned newspaper, too!

I will never read news online. If you spill your coffee on the newspaper, a new one comes in the morning. The same is not true of a laptop.

NotSoSage said...

Pure genius. Both stories.

A French Milliner goes into labour on the kitchen table while her husband, an Italian chef, prepares dinner...it sounds like the beginning to a very funny joke.

Aliki2006 said...

Oh, boy!

This was delightful...and I also just can't stand to read news on the computer.

wheelsonthebus said...

And people say *I* have good final lines...

Emily

alejna said...

Those are some very funny tidbits. As is your question about the placenta. (I see I'm not the only one to wonder about whether the milliner might have fashioned a new hat...)