27 March 2008

Oh the Google, the Google searchers..

Time for another edition of peculiar Google searches that landed people on my site:

1. my baby loved squash now all of a sudden he is gagging on it.

Okay, don't feed him squash. Try peas.

2. pumping musing

Pumping, being the most boring activity on the planet, does lead to musing. It is not, however, amusing.

3. annie's macaroni and cheese is gross

Word.

4. mom dad enema remembered

Um, I really don't want to know what you were looking for.

5. i am sorry what happened to your mom. i hope

You hope what? I hate being left hanging like that.

6. phobia of blood and organs

Then don't go into medicine; it's probably the wrong field for you.

7. teenage crisis

Sorry, I can't help - I have a four year old, not a teenager. Come back in 10 years.

8. plumb bob barbara

She sounds like fun.

9. pancakes for people with no gallbladder

Hmm, since there really aren't dietary restrictions on people with no gallbladder, any pancakes should be okay.

10. colcannon poem

Since you asked, here's a haiku:
The sublime marriage
of potato and cabbage:
Irish colcannon


11. facts about Princess Diana in bullet points

This site is not about Princess Diana. Try wikipedia. They've got her in outline form.

12. riddle with 10 candles and open window

What happens when you have your tenth birthday party in a room with open windows? Your wishes don't come true, because the wind blows out the candles for you.

13. girl Pirates

Yes, girls can be pirates. I have a girl pirate. Want to make something of it?

34 comments:

niobe said...

I just love your 10 candle/open window riddle. In fact, I love it so much that any minute now, the person in the next office over is going to stop by and ask me why I'm giggling uncontrollably.

Isis said...

I love your Colcannon poem. Love. It.

susiej said...

Very good!! I was thinking about posting mine lately, as I keep collecting the ones that are just so funny. But, I just don't know how to respond to some of them. You did well... love the birthday one.

andi said...

My Google searches are way more disturbing than yours. You don't want to know what some men want to do with "cubby" women.

Dane Bramage said...

I have several images that constantly draw people to my page. I am grateful that the "Naked Roller Skating Nuns" has quit bringing them to my blog.

My Thursday Thirteen #73 is up! 13 What I Should Have Said and What I Said Stop by if you get a chance.

Motherhood for Dummies said...

plumb bob barbara?!?!?! What! that is all I can say about that :)

Becky said...

Bwahahaha!

Search terms are the sole reason I have a stat program on my blog.

Teehee.

BarbaraCA said...

Hey! I think #8 was looking for me. Please inform them that I joined a gym several weeks ago and hope soon to be Googled as "Slim Bob Barbara."

nonlineargirl said...

What cracks me up is: what exactly is the person googling "annie's is gross" wanting to know? Does this person hope to connect with others who agree? Want to find alternatives? Want to shame annie into making her mac & cheese better?

Stimey said...

I am always entertained by these posts.

Amanda said...

So funny. I love reading what people search for. (I've never commented before, but I love your blog. Just wanted to say hi.)

byrningbunny said...

I love reading about the search terms. They are usually hilarious.

What impressive haiku skills you have!

Janet said...

You know... annie's macaroni and cheese IS gross. I wanna like it cause it's trying to be good for you...but Kraft dinner is vastly superior!

#9...and thank the good tree gods for that, cause I ain't got mine no mo!

Janet said...

oh, and I LOVED your colcannon haiku!

Janet said...

This was hilarious.

the mama bird diaries said...

You are a riot.

I continue to be do disappointed because my google searches for my site are just dreadfully boring.

alejna said...

Oh, that was lots of fun. And can I share how much I admire you for composing a colcannon haiku?

I AM VERY MARY said...

perhaps the most enlightening thing I've read all day!

nutmeg said...

My Google searches are mostly sad, like: alternatives for nutmeg.

flutter said...

yours are fun! mine are like

"fatty poop finger fatty sex finger poop"

Ozma said...

You are reminding me that if I have another kid I'd better locate that pumping bra...I had this crazy bra where you could put the little pump cups in it and voila! Hands free pumping!

And you looked extra absurd doing it, and it would make anyone in the vicinity fall over laughing, which was a special bonus.

yertle said...

That is really fascinating. I used to know someone who worked for Ask Jeeves, and he would tell me about the long paragraphs people would write to ask jeeves about their lives.

Kelley said...

Google searches are the best for bringing out the snark. And the phunny.

And you managed both. You are awesome.

Smootches.

Don Mills Diva said...

I love that poem! And yup Google searches always bring the crazy don't they?

peppermint t said...

I love pancakes. I'm glad to know they won't be off limits if something happens to my gallbladder.

Mama Zen said...

Love it!

Julie Pippert said...

Google searches are hilarious (and creepy) LOL. I mean, other people's are. I just get nerdy stuff, seriously.

LAS said...

I'm sure I've said this before - but I love to look at the google searches that land people on my blog! Some of them are so funny!

katiez said...

These are a hoot! I must make the time to go look at mine - it's been yonks!

Bipolarlawyercook said...

Arr!

Julia said...

Funny-funny.
And I learn something new every day. Today it was colcannon.
And if someone wants to make hey over girl pirates, I have one right here and she can explain the error of their ways in two languages. For now.

MadMad said...

Ha ha ha!!! Yesterday I got "How do I write a letter saying the dog really did eat my daughter's homework?" I really, really, really wish I could get a job answering people's stupid questions.... eh, maybe not.

NotSoSage said...

This was brilliant. Your response to #3, the colcannon poem, the riddle, everything.

I just hope that #13 wasn't an image search.

the queen said...

While you may THINK "...there really aren't dietary restrictions on people with no gallbladder, any pancakes should be okay," you, madam, would be mistaken. No gallbladder? No place to store fat-digesting bile. So, fatty food creates a giant rush of bile, what one might call biliousness if one wanted to be delicate about a painful rush of fluid out ones bottom.

So. The more you know. And the haiku was very funny.