12 March 2008

Sandwich

Cream cheese and jelly?

Tomato and goat cheese?

Ham & swiss on rye with lettuce and mustard?

Nope. 47 between 72 and 4.

My mother's not doing well. My brother and sister and I are juggling our own families and work so that someone is available to help Moky. Tomorrow, she has an appointment to see the oncologist - her first visit since the hospital stay and the three weeks of whole brain radiation.

So the other day, I arranged to take tomorrow off. And to allow me more time at my mother's house, and to cut down on my travel time, I decided to stay at her house on Wednesday and Thursday nights. So: work Wednesday, take the train to her house Wednesday evening, take her to the Thursday appointment, return to NYC and work on Friday, and return home on Friday night.

I packed a bag last night.

This morning, Miss M. woke up running a fever of 100.5°. W. had already left for work and I couldn't take today off (nor can I take off Friday). Luckily, Grandma was able to come to the rescue.

I'm going through with the Moky plan, because it's imperative, but oh the guilt of leaving the little sick chicken home.

I now understand why I'm called the "sandwich generation".

42 comments:

Life As I Know It said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! What a stressful time.
Hope things get better.

FreshHell said...

Yuck. Sorry - it always sucks when you feel equally pulled in different directions. Good thing you've got back-up! Best of luck.

Beth said...

Thank goodness for Grandmas.

Hope your Mom feels better soon.

alejna said...

Oh dear. How stressful. I'll be thinking of you and your mother. I'm so sorry to hear that she's not doing well.

And how rough not to be able to stay home with your sick little one. I'm glad you have family nearby.

I hadn't heard the term "sandwich generation" before. But I guess it will apply to my husband and me. Or perhaps it already does, to some extent.

Gina said...

This problem is becoming more and more prevalent, given increasing longevity as well as the fact that more people are having children later in life. I worry about it a lot, since I am an only child. I fear not being able to handle it all on my own.

painted maypole said...

oh, so hard. so many of my friends are struggling with similar "filling" issues right now.

Becky said...

Yipes. I will send all of my good vibrations your way today.

pinknest said...

oh dear. BREATHE!! and conquer.

Julia said...

Oh, this does not sound good. I am sorry.

niobe said...

How impossibly difficult.

Julie Pippert said...

(you)...but not too hard, since you're already feeling squeezed.

lilypotter said...

Oh, good luck! I hope everything goes well- and don't worry too much about leaving the sick one home; I'm sure there will be plenty more fevers for her in the future! Plus, Grandma's know a thing or two about taking care of sick kids!

Barb McMahon said...

Oh, that is hard to deal with!

Best of luck to you!

susiej said...

I'm sorry. (loved your reference at the top of the post, though). Good plan... if only we had a recipe for leaving the guilt behind... so hard.

Aurelia said...

Oh I'm sorry this has happened. Sandwich generation indeed....I swear I spend more time dealing with this stuff than ever. Totally unfair. I hope you and the family are okay.

Jen M. said...

Yeah - it says it all.

I AM VERY MARY said...

poor baby:( Wish I could help out!

kathy a. said...

so sorry, magpie. thinking good thoughts for moky and all of you.

i was there for 6.5 years with my grandmother -- she was 82, i was 33, and my kidlets were 1+3 at the start.

Kelley said...

Sounds like you have my mate Murphy there babe.

Thinking of you and hope Miss M is better so you can be with your Mum without worry.

Mayberry said...

I'm so sorry -- that just sucks. Hope the appointment tomorrow is helpful; and that M. perks up soon.

susan said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, and Miss M. I hope you all find a way to juggle time and space.

jen said...

babe, i'm so sorry.

andi said...

That's terrible. I hope things start to improve soon.

flutter said...

I am thinking of you, and holding you close in my heart.

Be well.

the mama bird diaries said...

Oh I'm so sorry about your mum. Thinking of you.

Mad said...

Hey. I'll be thinking of you. This must be very hard.

a. beaverhausen said...

Yup! I'm there, too. My parents are still able to get around, but they want a lot of attention. Between them and my three kids...

Hot Librarian said...

29 between 73 and 1 here. Throw 92 into the mix (my grandmother is still alive and I live closest by far) and yeah, I know where you're coming from.

Will be thinking of you... hang in there.

wheelsonthebus said...

Man, that is rough. Thinking of you. I wish I could sugar-coat it, but it is just rough.

Rima said...

What a difficult situation. I really hope that you are able to work something out, but it seems there is no easy way.

Melanie said...

I'm sorry. I do so wish your sandwich had less stress and more goat cheese.

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

Oh, no! How awful. I hope -- I don't know. I hope for your mom.

Furrow said...

I'm sorry to hear that Moky's not doing well. And it must be difficult for Miss M to understand why you have to be gone.

I'm starting to see the wisdom in my mother's decision to start her baby-making at 20. She spends several afternoons a week taking care of her own ailing mother, but her kids are fully grown. Whether we have children earlier or later, I suppose we sacrifice something.

I'll be thinking of you.

bipolarlawyercook said...

Pulled chicken, here, madam sandwich. Thinking of you.

nutmeg said...

I too am salami on rye right now. It's tough. I keep reminding myself that I'm setting an example to my children of how I'd like them to care for me when I'm old and/or infirmed. You're setting a beautiful example.

MadMad said...

Oh, man - I'm so sorry! What stress! You poor thing!

Melissa said...

that is rough. I totally understand though. My guys are little, my parents are getting older, and I'm the only child.

Big hug and prayers for you mom.

Janet said...

I had a glimpse of being the sandwich filling recently and I think I prefered being the bread.

What nutmeg said, though. You are showing your daughter that parents matter. Forever.

dawn224 said...

me too, Maggie. me too.

take special care of yourself. (easier said than done, I know.)

Victoria said...

Oh, Magpie, I'm sorry. ((Hugs)) The thought of caring for my mother (she lives 12 hours away) in her older years, keeps me up at night. I'm thinking of you (and sorry I've been MIA the last few weeks.)

Take care, M.

LAS said...

I'm so sorry! I hope things get better soon! I'll be thinking about you.

Jessica said...

Oh, so sorry any of this happens, but why all at once? Hope everyone is feeling better.