02 April 2008

Sweetness and Pain at 500

I spent last night at my mother's.

Around 8 am, I got this text message from my husband:

Miss M. slept all night in her
own bed. She said that she
dreamed you were walking in
the sky smiling down at her.
Two more chicks hatched
overnight. I'm leaving for the
city at 2:30.

It totally made my day. Every morning, I ask her if she had any dreams. Usually she says no, and sometimes she claims to have dreamed about a stuffed animal (which always sounds like she's trying to shut me up by just telling me something). But the night I wasn't there? She dreamed of me. Of course, if I had been there, she wouldn't have had to dream me up because she would have climbed into our bed at some point and wrapped her limpet self around me.

Meanwhile, I didn't sleep well at all. I was up in the middle of the night making lists and notes for my sister to use when she met with the hospice intake nurse. Eventually I went back to bed, and fell asleep, only to have the alarm wake me up from a vivid dream in which two of my teeth had spontaneously crumbled into tiny shards.

My sister and brother and sister-in-law - and my mother - met with the hospice nurse this morning. Tomorrow, they'll deliver a hospital bed and portable toilet and wheelchair and oxygen. She's barely eating, and sleeping a lot. She fell yesterday and couldn't get up, and either sprained or broke her ankle in the process. She's not even reading the paper anymore, much less railing about grammatical errors in the Times or malfeasance on the part of hospital administrators.

Calling hospice in wasn't an easy call, but it was an inevitable one. And it's kind of a relief.

* * * * * * * * *

This is my 500th post. How did this happen? Thank you all for reading and commenting and being.

32 comments:

Furrow said...

I'm very sorry that your mother has reached this stage. I hope that hospice care will allow her to find some comfort and maybe even some small pleasures. Love to you and your family.

Phantom Scribbler said...

Thinking of you all.

kathy a. said...

(((( magpie )))) such a lovely message from home!

i'm so sorry about your mom. xoxoxo

but i firmly believe that hospice is a good thing. good support for mom, and for the family -- practical and emotional.

kathy a. said...

also, i'm thinking of all of you. this might be a short process, or not. but it is a hard one. xoxoxo

Waiting Amy said...

Oh Mag, I'm so sorry it was a hard decision. But certainly a good one. I'm hoping for your whole family that hospice will help ease the situation both for your mom and for you all.

It is clear from how you write about her what a special lady she is. I hope you still enjoy some time together.

Awesome Mom said...

It has to be so hard to have to go through this with your mom. You and her will be in my thoughts.

Becky said...

Oh Magpie, I'm so sorry. I know that hospice is a wonderful, wonderful institution who will take fantastic and dignified care of your mother and all of you.

I used to work with hospices (I'm actually a nurse), so let me know if you need any help navigating the waters.

Love to you Magpie and to your mother and your whole family.

Her Grace said...

I'm so sorry for the pain and glad you had a bright spot in this difficult day.

Thinking of you all...

jen said...

thinking of you sister, and your endless heart.

(my 500th post was yesterday)

xo

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I know firsthand what a rough time this is.

Hospice is the most amazing, wonderful thing ever. I was involved with them for both my mother and my sister and I cannot sing their praises enough.

Sending positive vibes your way.

Eva said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's decline. I hope the hospice helps.

peppermint t said...

I'm thinking about you.

Rima said...

Oh, I'm just so sorry. What a bittersweet 500th post.

Don Mills Diva said...

I'm so soory about your mom. How poignant that your 500th post was a microcosym of what we write about every day - sweetness, pain, slice of life...

Mayberry said...

I hope hospice continues to bring relief to you all. And I know Miss M. will continue to make you all smile in the face of the pain.

xox

lilypotter said...

My thoughts are with you all.

Ozma said...

My father in law used hospice this year. They were wonderful. I hope the people who help your mother are as kind and helpful.

It's so remarkable how the little ones can do so much for us just by being who they are.

You and your family are in my thoughts.

slouching mom said...

so glad i found you, maggie.

and i'm sorry about your mom. i hope the transition to hospice is smooth.

freshhell said...

Oooh, crumbling teeth dreams. Not good. Take care of yourself. I'm sorry about your mom. That must be tough.

Nancy said...

My thoughts & prayers are with you and your family.

Jessica said...

Oh my, so sorry you are going through this now. I remember this step when my sister-in-law was sick. Thinking about you and your family.

MadMad said...

Ohhhhh! I'm sorry!

LAS said...

I am very sorry to hear about what you are going through and I'll be thinking about you and send you good thoughts!

She She said...

Thank god for hospice. Thinking of you...

Janet said...

Thinking of you.

Aliki2006 said...

I'm still thinking about you, friend. At that message from your husband m made me smile, too--it was almost like a poem.

Kelley said...

Oh babe, you and your mum will be in my thoughts. I am sure that this will be a good match for her. Finding a hospice is hard, but will be best for everyone.

Smootches

niobe said...

This is so sad, even if it's kind of a relief.

I can't remember how I found your blog. But I'm very, very glad I did.

Julia said...

This is so very sad. I am sorry this is where your family is now, and so fast. I, too, hope your mother finds peace and comfort with the help of the hospice care.

I do remember how I found you-- I came over from Niobe's. So glad I did.

liz said...

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.

painted maypole said...

prayers for you, your mom, and your whole family...

Library Lady said...

I'm thinking good thoughts for you and yours, come what may...