11 May 2008

Dreams for Our Children

I'm not big on Mother's Day. Or Father's Day. Or Easter, for that matter. I love Christmas, and I find Halloween and Valentine's Day charming. And there's a certain majesty about Memorial Day, especially if there's a parade.

But Mother's Day? It feels both fraught, and insincere. It took too long for us to become parents, and so there were all those years when I wasn't someone's mother. And it seems so much like a Hallmark holiday - a construct foisted on us by card companies and florists and local garden centers.

But I know, I do know, that Mother's Day wasn't actually invented by Hallmark. In fact, Julia Ward Howe wrote the Mother's Day Proclamation in 1870 as a pacifist reaction to the Civil War. So really, Mother's Day ought to be about something more than breakfast in bed and last minute gifts - though I did quite like the marigold seedlings in a handpainted pot that came home from daycare.

Leave it to the MOMocrats - they're writing about their dreams, dreams for a better tomorrow, and encouraging others as well.

My own mother is dying of lung cancer. She's not going to get to watch my child grow up. My step-sister just died of ovarian cancer. She doesn't get to grow old or know grandchildren. WhyMommy is cancer-free, but still beat from treatment. I hope, I dream, that in my lifetime, we find better ways to eradicate cancer. Chemotherapy and radiation are barbaric therapies - blanket poisoning of the body in hopes of killing the tumor cells.

My sister will participate in her third Relay for Life next month - raising money for the American Cancer Society. I will support her effort; won't you join me and help her to meet (or beat) her $1500 goal? She's halfway there - click here or on the button to get to her Relay page.

And maybe, just maybe, it'll be better in the future. I hope.


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I lost my mother to lung cancer 6 years ago, my sister to ovarian or lung (they weren't exactly sure) last January and my good friend to lung cancer on April 25.

I'm hoping for a better future, too. I'll get over to your sister's site.

Lawyer Mama said...

This is a dream I can definitely get behind.

I'm so sorry about your mother and your step-sister. ((hugs))

Mayberry said...

Christmas is the best because it has the best music.

Seriously, though. I will click over. I've just finished interviewing half a dozen young couples affected by cancer for a magazine article and it's devastating.

the mama bird diaries said...

Yes, we absolutely need a better future. Cancer is evil.

So very sorry about your mom and step-sister. Thanks for sharing this. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh babe, thanks for sharing. I am sure that was a hard post to write.


Aliki2006 said...

I am so sorry. But your dreams are powerful--and so important--and we need them.

NH Yocal said...

I remember thinking that Mother's day was a Hallmark holiday too. Still, I enjoy and do think it rightly serves it purpose. I know it is hard though for all those that have moms that passed on or even worse, children that were lost. I can't imagine the pain of that circumstance but in the end, it is just to pay honor to the person who cared for you so deeply. Lots of holidays don't sit well with some. I can't even say I am a fan of Thanksgiving. I guess the notion of paying thanks by way of stuffing our faces and watching parades doesn't make much sense to me.

I hope she meets her goal for raising money. I was glad to have just participated in an American Cancer Society run which I was able to raise a nice donation. I will definitely be doing more of it as well.

Aunt Becky said...


What a lovely idea.

Janet said...

I hope it does get better. I personally know a handful of women who have fought cancer, some my age, some on their second go around. It's insidious and hateful.

debangel said...

My mom died of lung cancer, too..I'm running the Boulder Backroads marathon this year through LUNGevity.org in her honor. Sheesh, I like having stuff in common with other bloggers, but this is ridiculous. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm even in an earlier time zone. Big Mother's Day hugs to you anyway =)

Amy@UWM said...

So sorry about your mom and step-sister. Bravo for your sister for doing Relay For Life and to you for supporting her. I'll be celebrating my 15th year as a cancer survivor this Friday at our Relay For Life event in Atlanta. Relay is such an awesome event. I encourage everyone with a cancer connection to experience one!

Amy in Ohio said...

A wonderful dream indeed.

Vered said...

"Chemotherapy and radiation are barbaric therapies - blanket poisoning of the body in hopes of killing the tumor cells."

So true.

I am very sorry about your mother, and your step sister. I just made a donation - looks like your sister is very close to her goal!