11 November 2008

How to have a really memorable day

Start by going to the dentist. Learn that the tooth you broke last week during your teaching moment with your child, when you did a compare and contrast analysis of Smarties vs. SweeTarts, is going to require a crown, to the tune of $1600.

Go to the office for forty minutes, drooling because your mouth is shot full of Novocain.

Head home so you can catch the train that will get you home in time to be at child’s school by 1:30 for birthday "story/snack".

Space out on the train and forget to get off at your stop. Take cab home from the next stop, to the tune of $15.

Go to child’s school. Read "The Gardener" and hand out Rice Krispie treats.

Drop car off at gas station, because you noticed that the inspection expired at the end of last month. Walk home.

Get a call from the mechanic, who tells you that the twelve-year old car won’t pass inspection without two new front tires. Discuss situation with husband, who says you need four new tires, to the tune of $500. Breathe a sigh of relief that he didn’t insist on high-performance tires, which would have cost twice as much.

Go to a last minute appointment with the gynecologist because you’ve had your period for two weeks. Sit in the waiting room for half an hour, irritated because there is neither phone service nor internet access.

Grit your teeth through an endometrial biopsy, because the gynecologist wants to see if there’s anything amiss with the lining of the uterus. Be calm when the scheduler says you can get a pelvic sonogram appointment in a month, even though the gynecologist wants it done within the week. Grit your teeth through a blood draw by a phlebotomist who can’t find a vein.

Pick up child. Pick up husband. Pick up prescription.

Decide to go out to dinner with child, even though there’s really no need to spend any more money and there are leftovers, because it is her birthday after all. Arrive at restaurant and find most of the tables lined up into a table for 30 for someone else’s birthday party. Order a scotch on the rocks because it’s been a long day. Have heart sink when the birthday party guests turn out to be eight years old, because 30 eight year olds? Make a lot of noise.

Go home. Give child her presents.

Go to bed at 7:30.

45 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

I'll be over with the vodka. sounds like you need it.

Kyla said...

Oh wow. WHAT A DAY! That deserved all caps, I think. Hope today is much better.

BarbaraCA said...

That's what they call a "Stem to Stern" crapfest.

But won't the rest of the week seem fabulous in comparison?

InTheFastLane said...

Memorable, is one word for it...
You got to go to the dentist and the gyn in the same day? That alone is cause for drinking.

kathy a. said...

oy.

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Oh. My.

The only and best part of that day is the 7:30 bedtime.

FreshHell said...

Argh. I can relate. I took my car in for an oil change and just got the "are you sitting down?" call. To the tune of $1,200. So, yeah. Nothing says fun like the combo of dental work, gyn work, bad car news (and there is no other kind), etc. But I bet your daughter had a GREAT day!

FreshHell said...

Argh. I can relate. I took my car in for an oil change and just got the "are you sitting down?" call. To the tune of $1,200. So, yeah. Nothing says fun like the combo of dental work, gyn work, bad car news (and there is no other kind), etc. But I bet your daughter had a GREAT day!

Mental P Mama said...

Ouch. No, I really mean it. Ouch.

Rima said...

Yikes. Sounds like you exceeded your quota yesterday. I hope today is looking better!

Mayberry said...

It's a good thing she only has ONE birthday a year. Damn!

slouching mom said...

oh, maggie. is it a fibroid, do you think?

i'm sorry. i hope that today is better.

flutter said...

fly on out to flutters, for a spa weekend :) c'mon, you know you want to

RuthWells said...

Man, that sucks. Hopefully tomorrow will be less memorable!

Anjali said...

Oh, my. So sorry.

Gotta Knit! said...

What a bad day. Think I might have found the bottom of said Scotch bottle.

womaninawindow said...

you poor dear. You need a blanket. and maybe that drink.

Hope all the tests are a waste of time!

Awesome Mom said...

That sounds a bit like my Friday. Puked in the morning, annoying kids and then a painful pap smear. At least I got to hear my baby's heartbeat which made everything all better. I hope that you have a better day soon.

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

You did all that by 7:30pm? You are truly a superhero.

She She said...

After reading that post, I'm going to bed, too.

We had to get 4 new tires today, to the tune of $500+. Oy.

Aunt Becky said...

Damn, M. What a craptastic day you had. The only bright side of those days is that the next day is usually better, if only by direct comparison.

Krysta said...

that was one expensive day. ugh.

Eva said...

As they say in Sweden: uff da.

Melissa said...

Wow. I just don't know what to say. Just wow.

Drink much. Feel better. :)

catnip said...

Have mercy. I hope today was better!

Amanda said...

Oh, you. That stinks. Tell, did she like her presents? Did you get a sweet smile or exclaim that erased (kind of) the rest?

Sending belated hugs.

Julie Pippert said...

You just talked me out of scheduling my dentist, OB, and eye appts on the same day. Oh, and mammogram.

Scotch on the rocks---def. called for.

wheelsonthebus said...

well, the 7:30 bed time sounds nice

Her Grace said...

Wine. Lots of it.

Hope tomorrow is better.

Library Lady said...

You should've read the kids "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" :}

Hope that tomorrow is a lot better.
Lord, it would HAVE to be!

nonlineargirl said...

Here's hoping tomorrow is less expensive and annoying.

the queen said...

Yoy had me at "dentist." But endometrial biopsy? During mine, as my GYN saw my shaking violently in pain, she told me that some women say the pain of an endometrial biopsy is worse than childbirth.

Lady M said...

Tomorrow will be a better day. It must!

cactus petunia said...

Oy. After a day like that, tomorrow HAS to be better!
Hang in there.

ALM said...

All I can say? Oh. Man.

phd in yogurtry said...

"Space out on the train and forget to get off at your stop"

Have you seen, "Sliding Doors" starring Gwyneth Paltrow? Random association there.

Sorry about the crown. I've got two or three of those pricey suckers.

alejna said...

Oof.

S. said...

On the bright side, you only had to ruin one day with all of that. Think of all the days that might have been ruined if the awful had been less concentrated.

What? not really the bright side?

I think that was some serious self-control on the scotch.

Ree said...

Oh, babe. I've had those days. Only one scotch on the rocks?

You obviously are much more controlled than me.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That is a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

I hope your medical problems turn out to be nothing--you could ask the Dr. to call for your appt.--they can usually get things moving.

Defiantmuse said...

sounds like you really needed that scotch, dude. um, $1600 for a crown?? Seriously! Holy crap. I cracked a tooth years ago, I keep ignoring it and have gotten used to eating on the right side of my mouth. I knew crowns were expensive but...damn. Your biopsy turned out okay, right? Think you mentioned it on Twitter last night.

Maggie, Dammit said...

Oh god. I hope everything is okay.

i am very mary said...

Good grief. I send cyber love immediately...

ophelia rising said...

Poor dear.

And...what IS the difference between Smarties and SweeTarts?

Marinka said...

Yes, will you be publishing the Smarties/Sweet Tarts study results?

I hope your test results are ok.