08 November 2009

In Which We Mock The Supermarket

There is a simple joy in going to the supermarket with my husband, but without our child. It's calm. There are no pleas for this (No, we are not getting Dora fruit rollups), or that (No, we're not going to buy Gogurt). And we can pause to contemplate the absurd, like "milk flavoring straws".


You drink your milk with this product, and it tastes like Oreos? For twenty five cents a straw? Are those crumbled Oreos glued to the inside of the straw? I am mystified.

Or how about Pirates of the Caribbean bubble bath?



Come on, everyone knows that pirates don't bathe. And when they get smelly? They jump in the sea and swim around the ship. They don't take bubble baths, and they certainly don't want to smell like "Mariner Musk".

What got me thoroughly grossed out, though, was a small stack of plastic containers of freshly cooked pumpkin. Not processed, in a can, like solid pack pumpkin (which I've been hearing is in short supply for the coming pumpkin pie holiday). Nah, this is like the store decided to repurpose the unsold Halloween pumpkins by cooking them, and scooping the flesh, and packing it.



No expiration date, and it was shelved over by the dairy department, not in produce where you might expect. I think I'll stick to apple pie, thanks.

19 comments:

I Am Very Mary said...

but, but, but - you could make PUMPKIN flavored straws!

Nap Warden said...

Dude...I want the Pirates bubble bath...NOT!

kathy a. said...

there is totally a market for pirate bubble bath. have you tried to get a young unwilling boy to bathe lately? the right kind of boy, this could work.

rachel... said...

I've never seen fresh cooked pumpkin sold in a store before. And we seem to have plenty of the canned variety when I'm at the grocery store EVERY OTHER DAY OF MY LIFE.

You know what I have seen, though? Those milk flavoring straws. I would never in a million years buy those for my kids, but I swear we had them when I was little, but only in chocolate or strawberry, I think...

alejna said...

Too funny. I will have to look for these and other mockable items next time I go grocery shopping.

(Actually, I'm still meaning to buy some yeast so that I can make bread. Seeing as you convinced me that I should give it a try.)

painted maypole said...

he he

phd in yogurtry said...

make it vodka flavored and I might not mind 25cents per

Laura said...

If I had money to waste, I would be a steady purchaser of those straws.
And, that pumpkin made me say Yuk outloud.

Laura said...

If I had money to waste, I would be a steady purchaser of those straws.
And, that pumpkin made me say Yuk outloud.

Your sophomore year roomie said...

Gee, here in the city we don't have shelf space for anything this interesting. Though once we did see Frosty Paws, an ice cream made especially for dogs...

de said...

$2.49? good lord.

I noticed at the nursery right before halloween that they'd marked down the pumpkins considerably - apparently the news that a poor pumpkin harvest was going to raise prices kept people from buying as many as usual. I have a pumpkin pancake recipe that my daughter loves, so we usually have a can on hand. I think pumpkin pie is disgusting, so I'd never use it for that.

Kelly said...

I love grocery shopping as a couple, sans child. We find things like shelf stable pre-cooked ground beef in little foil packets. Yum.

Melissa said...

I'm the same way. I love to laugh at some of the product offerings. My favorite? Hershey chocolate in the same form factor as Pringles.

She She said...

Thanks for the heads up. I'll need to steer clear of the bubble bath aisle with the kids. They want anything having to do with Pirates of the Caribbean.

Julie Pippert said...

I will buy anything that says pumpkin -- what do you mean it's in short supply? Do I need to buy out the shelves and stock up? I eat pumpkin every day this time of year! (No, I'm serious. I spread it on toast, mix it in yogurt, add it to almond butter for sandwiches -- true stories.)

And the straws -- just...WHY???

Kyla said...

I don't eat pumpkin...and those little containers reminded me of why. LOL.

heidi said...

I for one, could always use more pirate in the bath. And yes, we too feel like we;re on a date when we go grocery shopping together.

Furrow said...

The first is gross, the second is ... whatever, typical. The third is recycling! Come on, where's your sense of civic responsibility?

Kelly said...

Those straws just make me sad. Next thing you know, they'll be making cookie cups for kids to drink their milk out of. I'm a marketing genius.