19 November 2009

Let's Review: Baby Alive

For heaven's sake, does anyone really need a doll that pees? I thought they'd gone the way of all things, but apparently they've made a reappearance. Someone gave my daughter a "Baby Alive Better Now Baby" for her birthday, and I'd like to rip its little molded plastic hair out. For one thing, it only came with ONE disposable diaper. [The packaging said there were supposed to be two - it is possible that the second diaper got thrown out because the packaging was that kind of insane frustration of hard plastic and wire ties that drives parents to drink.] For another thing, the diapers are DISPOSABLE. Meaning, once they get wet, you're supposed to throw them out. Meaning, you're supposed to buy disposable diapers FOR A DOLL. This does not fall into the category of ecologically correct toy.

I have firmly instructed the girl that no more water is to be "fed" to the doll - because I will not buy disposable diapers for a doll.

It could be worse. There's a more expensive version that pees and poops and whimpers, and requires special food and batteries, which was a runner-up in the 2009 TOADY awards:

Want to stamp out your preschooler’s pesky imagination? Try Hasbro’s Baby Alive Learns to Potty. Some version of Baby Alive has been around since the 1980s, but thanks to animatronics the 2008 version does everything. Really everything. In addition to talking, gurgling, eating special Baby Alive food and drinking Special Baby Alive juice, this is the only TOADY award nominee that actually poops. Baby Alive Learns to Potty comes with two packets of food and two diapers—which aren’t reusable when “messed.” In addition to squelching your child's creative play, you'll get big bang out of adding Baby Alive’s food and diaper costs to the family budget!

At least I'm not alone in being such a curmudgeon.




Disclosure: My kid got this as a birthday present, and no one paid me for this review.

22 comments:

kathy a. said...

a toy that poops. well, isn't THAT a special way to celebrate a birthday...

back in the day, i thought furbies were the devil's own work. there was one memorable birthday party when i had to pull over on the way to the tech museum and put the four (4) ride-along furbies in the trunk, because they were talking to each other. so, there you have my opinion on animatronics that don't involve poop.

RuthWells said...

Lord, I don't EVEN want to know what the doll poop looks like...

heidi said...

They are the marketing to the wrong people... I would get them for my girls when they start dating. :-)

Lady M said...

By the way, I just love imagining the toy company paying you to write a review that says one would have to be insane to buy this product! :)

slouchy said...

Laughing over here.

mayberry said...

My kids picked a tag from one of those Christmas trees for gifts to needy families. The tag requests this exact doll. GREAT!

Kelly said...

Gack!

Although, I do like heidi's idea of giving them to teenage girls.

Woman in a Window said...

You are not a curmudgeon. You are simply not an idiot.

Thankful over here for that.

And yes, laughing!

xo
erin

Bibliomama said...

Yeah, Heidi=brilliant.

Disposable diapers for a doll. Sounds like a job for my Stupidity Czar.

Gwen said...

Oh! But I loveloveloved my Baby Alive doll! For at least 3 whole days. I even tried her food myself, which is slightly better than trying cat food.

Anyway, teenage girls already get those fake screaming babies which are way worse than this doll. And that still doesn't stop them.

nonlineargirl said...

I remember this toy. Bleh, you'd think things would be better now. (then again, why? Ada was making her hand-me-down Barbie sing a song about how it is prettier than me)

phd in yogurtry said...

insanitee-tee

Kelly said...

My 4-year old keeps asking for this. I keep saying, to myself, "No way in hell I'm starting to buy diapers again." Seriously, WTF?

Marinka said...

I had this doll when I was little. I almost underwent sterilization as a result.

Your sophomore year roomie said...

Eh -- go green. Let her cut up a pillowcase, and hand her the safety pins. Teach her to hand wash the diapers.

Someone once gave my #3 a Barbie covered in blue tattoos. We weren't sure what to make of it (was Barbie supposed to date Celtic Ken?), and tossed it on our apartment's giveaway shelf pretty fast. It disappeared, so I guess someone yearned for it...

MDTaz said...

I'm a bit in shock, that some market researcher in some tall office building thought this was a good idea.

Stimey said...

I have to tell you, I love your disclosures so much when you trash a product.

Also? Wow. That sounds absolutely horrible. For sooooo many reasons.

I had a peeing doll when I was a kid. I got super annoyed by it after, like, a day and never put water in it again.

meno said...

If i wanted a toy that pooped, i'd get a damned dog. Sheesh!

painted maypole said...

someone gave your daughter that? i think you should make that doll poop in a paper bag and leave it on their front porch.

Kyla said...

I have to confess...Santa MIGHT be bringing KayTar a peeing doll. We told her she couldn't have one as long as SHE was wearing diapers...and a week later she was potty trained. Perhaps we'll have to find some cloth dipes for her dolly, though.

alejna said...

This was so funny, Magpie.

Let me know if you'd like some newborn-sized cloth diapers for the doll. They've been used, mind you, by a human baby. Who peed, just like a real baby. (I did wash them.)

Imperatrix said...

I'm with the others who suggested cloth diapers. Now there's an idea -- and kids LOVE to do "laundry" and hang things up to dry. It'll be like two gifts in one!