26 July 2010

Car Wash

Once upon a time, my husband worked for a construction company. One summer, they renovated all of the dressing rooms and back stage areas at a big non-profit theater, including the installation of fancy Toto toilets with washlet seats - you know, only the best. The job was ending just as a new production was moving in to begin previews. As there always are, a few punch list items had to be finished, even after the actors were in the dressing rooms. One of my husband's co-workers went up to the theater to install a handful of toilet paper holders. He knocked on the star's dressing room, and was greeted by the A-list actor in his Falstaff fat suit. "Hi, I'm here to install the missing toilet paper holder in your bathroom." The reply, in a fine Shakespearian bellow: "What the hell do I need toilet paper for? I've got a car wash for my ass!"


(With thanks to Vodka Mom, who reminded me of this story.)

15 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

Dude. I TOTALLY require a car wash for my ass now. Can he install one for me?

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

And the name of the A-list actor was?!

Harriet said...

Hee!

coldspaghetti said...

Car wash, indeed! Hilarious.

kathy a. said...

those toilets are really almost standard in japan. when we visited in march, they were in our hotel rooms [except one place, these were *not* fancy hotels], at the museums, in tiny restaurants. i'm afraid to use the water features, although the seat-warming feature is grand in a cold restroom.

when we lived in japan for a year in the late 1980's, many public restrooms still had japanese-style toilets -- basically a hole in the floor; try using that when you're seriously pregnant -- and a few public places still offer them as an alternative to "western-style" toilets.

de said...

Ya know, I used to think these were a good idea, but after having a plain old toto soft touch toilet seat, I can attest to how difficult they are to keep clean because of the hinge design, probably even for households without five year old boys.

RuthWells said...

Love it! You're reminding me, it's been a long time since I've written a Celebrity Encounters post....

Julia said...

Have you ever read The Big Necessity, by Rose George? She visits the Toto plant to find out all about those nifty toilets. The book is interesting, definitely worth borrowing from the library.

Lady M said...

Snicker!

mayberry said...

I love it.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

Ah, I tried one of those when I went for colon hydrotherapy. Those things are awesome. But I woulnd't call them a car wash for my ass ;-)

The Library Lady said...

Oh, my.
With the various toches issues I have had recently (don't ask)I would love one of those toilets.
However, having looked at their web sites and priced them, it's not going to happen. I think we did our whole bathroom renovation for considerably less....

Vodka Mom said...

that totally made me LAUGH out loud.


hahaha

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

love this!

Janet said...

ROFLMAO!