23 September 2010

Walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death

This day, the 23rd of September, it's odd. Not because 23 is an odd number (though it is, and prime too), but because it's the 17th anniversary of the day my friend Peter's boyfriend died. (Huh, 17's another odd prime.) The reason I remember when he died is because it's smack dab equidistant from two birthdays: my mother's, on the 21st, and my husband's, on the 25th. For years, in my head, it ran birth-death-birth. Now it's not so pat, since my mother's birthday is complicated by the fact that she's dead. Birthday of dead person, death day of dead person, birthday of living person.

It's curious how memory works. I can't remember when anyone else died, except my mother, and again, her death is paired with another's birth: my nephew was born on the 31st of March, she died on April Fool's Day.

And where did that 17 years go? Thinking of you, Petey.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It was another Psalm that stuck in my head today:

A thousand years in your eyes are merely a yesterday, But humans you return to dust, saying, "Return, you mortals!" Before a watch passes in the night, you have brought them to their end; They disappear like sleep at dawn; they are like grass that dies. It sprouts green in the morning; by evening it is dry and withered.

Our perception of time is malleable, when time itself is not. Wishing you peace in your thoughts and happiness in your memories.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

My mother died on May 1, my oldest son's birthday is May 2 and my (now deceased) sister's birthday was May 3.

S said...

aww. and i'm thinking of YOU.

alejna said...

I have remembered the dates of 3 deaths. As in your case, it is primarily because they coincided with other significant dates. My grandmother died on December 3rd, the day before my (late) father's birthday. My oldest nephew (my sister-in-law's son) died on May 10th, the day before Mother's Day that year. And my dear friend E. died on November 16th, the first anniversary of my blog.

heidi said...

Kiss Peter on the head for me. My 49 yr old neighbor just died the day after my birthday. :-(

heidi said...

P.S... and I just realized that I am doing my walk this morning with my new widow, and my pregnant neighbor, due tomorrow. omg, Pie!!!!!!!