20 September 2010

The Sleeping Thing

Putting the kidlet to sleep has been a major chore recently. Out of necessity, she was sleeping with us during our two week road trip - and even in the places that had a cot for her, she tended to climb in (or worse, kick me out to the cot). Furthermore, because we were all in the same room, we all kind of had to go to bed at more or less the same time. So when we came home, it was "Mommy, are you going to go to sleep at the same time as me?" over and over again. We'd do the bedtime routine, I'd read her a chapter of something or another, and put her in her bed. BUT. Either I'd be downstairs doing stuff and my cell phone would ring, with her calling me from the house phone, or I'd come upstairs and find her making forts and playing with dolls. In short, she just won't go to sleep without being right next to me.

I got so frustrated the other day that I pulled out all the sleep books that I keep under my bedside table as talismans, and flipped through Weissbluth and Ferber and Kurcinka. Tucked inside one of them, I found an essay I'd ripped out of Brain Child in 2007 - an essay by Jennifer Niesslein talking about her seven year old who yeah, prefers to sleep with mom. And I felt awesomely better about the whole thing. One day, she'll outgrow it. Until then, I can just enjoy how much she loves me.

16 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

And she will outgrow it....I still long for the days when I would wake up with a kids's foot in my face;)

FreshHell said...

Sigh. I feel your pain. Red has begun climbing in bed with me again. Last night, she got in around 1am, thrashed around until I left and got in her bed. Within half an hour, she had tracked me down. "Are you going to sleep in your bed now?" "yes." And she did. We both ended up in our own beds. But, I'm sure she'll be back tonight. If she didn't flail and kick, I wouldn't mind it so much.

susan said...

Curious Girl is 8 and a quarter, and still falls asleep laying on top of me. For a brief period last spring, she started "sleeping herself," as she calls it, but she seems to have abandoned that plan. Mostly, I enjoy it--bedtime cuddles are a good time for finding out what she's thinking about. If she wakes up in the night, she comes and gets me. DUring the first week of school, I was put out by about 5 nights of her waking up just as I was going up to bed, which meant i got no time in my own bed at all. Fortunately, that's subsided. I think that the sort of sleeping arrangements we're talking about here really are more common, but less discussed.

Heide said...

The Offspring has been climbing into bed with us most nights; last night, he kept calling to me. I resent the disrupted sleep, but I love the snuggling, his smell at night after a bath, how he curls himself up in my arms. When he's done, I'll be glad to have uninterrupted sleep, but I'll miss it an awful lot, too.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

We sort of co-slept with babies--they went down in their own room, but then came in with us. Everyone was in their own crib/room for the night by age one.

I never, ever laid down with my kids at night--I just didn't want to. By that time of day I was done and wanted some alone time. But I was more than happy to have kids stumble in at 5 a.m. and spend the next hour or two snuggling.

I think any situation can work, but it has to be one the parent is feeling good about.

liz said...

MM too.

de said...

Recovering from vacation sleeping arrangements is tough. I don't mind them coming in my bed in the morning (hey, I like Martha Speaks), but delayed bedtimes and nighttime interruptions are strongly discouraged, I.e., punishable.

Kelly @ Student of the Year said...

I actually envy people who are cool with sharing their nights. I feel like they've tapped into some sort of emotion that I am incapable of. Like De, I'm super firm about night: kiddos in own beds, parents in own beds. I make some exceptions for sicknesses, nightmares, etc. But I generally feel unwilling to share myself at night. So, yeah, sometimes I feel like a complete jackass!

(I need to read that essay, obviously!)

slouchy said...

whatever works is what i say!

mayberry said...

Right there with you. We had successfully trained the 5 yr old to fall asleep without an adult in the room (aside: we'd point out all the stuffed animal friends in the room as excellent substitutes for us, or say that his sister was sleeping right next door. He'd wail "but that's not a PARENT!") using a reward chart a few months ago. But somehow or other that fell away and we're back to hanging out until he falls asleep, AND finding him in our bed in the wee hours. *shrug*

Bibliomama said...

Nothing solid to offer except I like your attitude. And I would so prefer that they just sleep with me than yell at me from their rooms. At various periods each of them would beat the hell out of me when we slept together, which was kind of a deal-breaker, but usually now they're good. But in general my kids have been awesome sleepers and I can't complain.

anymommy said...

I absolutely think the worst thing about traveling with kids is sleep issues. It never works, no matter what, except if mom doesn't get any sleep.

Dora said...

Love this post! I get such flack for cosleeping with my almost 10 month old (she'll be 10 mos in 9 days! How'd that happen??). It works for us. She's my sweet cuddle bunny. My only problem is my fear of her launching herself off the bed or crawling off if she wakes up when I'm not there (in the shower or kitchen, etc.). I have things to keep her from rolling off in her sleep, but if she wakes up, she's not big enough to get down safely. Eek!

painted maypole said...

MQ wants to sleep with me all the time, too.

Anonymous said...

Not to be the bearer of bad news (or maybe good news, depending on how you look at it), but not every kid outgrows it.

Don't ask me how I know.

Kyla said...

Night is the only time Josh and I have to relax/be together. We usually watch TV in bed until midnight or so. So having a kiddo in bed would probably drive me nuts, then I would have zero time to myself in a day. If it works for you guys, though, more power to ya!